Examples‎ > ‎

Male to Female and Back Again

dear walt:

will I ever have a girlfriend (gf) or job or will I be a misfit all my life? My driver’s license and birth certificate all say female on them. It took me 23 years to realize what a mistake I made. I feel like I did this to myself.

I was 25 years old living in Rochester MN just had been thrown out by my mother on the street and had broken up with my gf. I went through University of MN Hospital’s transgender program while living in homeless shelters in Minneapolis where I met other transsexuals who were all homeless and prostitutes.

I met my first ts in a homeless shelter. The state of mn used to pay for srs; don’t think they do it anymore. So in mn you didn’t need money to get srs. went through all the groups on how to be a woman (didn’t really work) and became a woman (or a fake woman). had very small breasts from hormones and looked like a man with boobs. Didn’t have money to get laser on my face or electroylysis or implants. Didn’t feel like a woman after srs.

people made fun of me and mistreated me. came back to nj to my hometown and was rejected by everyone. 23 years went by. for a few years i was happy as a woman then the novelty of being a woman wore off. tried unsuccessfully many times to go back to being a man. did it from 2007 to 2008 then went back to being a woman. tried to get jobs and go to school but no one would accept me. I wish the feelings inside would go away. wish I had given up being a woman 20 years ago. I am no longer young and pretty.

I started trying on my mother’s clothes when I was a kid and wishing I was a girl never thinking it would ruin my life.

I was never attracted to men and never had sex. got srs so i could dress like a girl. Didn’t want to be a wife or mother.

I’m all alone, broke and with no future. I will never be a man or woman. I have hardly any men’s clothes and no money. I was in a newspaper article at age 25 so everyone here knows I’m a ts. no one will rent me an apt or hire me.

maybe my life can serve as a warning to other transsexuals—please don’t end up like claudia

sincerely, claudia